


Man’s Best Friend

by wackyjacqs



Series: Bizarre Holidays [102]
Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Episode: s04e16 2010, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-11
Updated: 2019-04-11
Packaged: 2020-01-11 22:57:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18433853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wackyjacqs/pseuds/wackyjacqs
Summary: Sam storms around the side of the cabin, silently cursing her former commanding officer. But she’s angry. A part of her knows she has absolutely no right to feel anger towards the colonel –Jack– or how he’s reacted to her plea for help, but the other part of her selfishly believed that he would listen and realize the danger Earth is in.





	Man’s Best Friend

**Author's Note:**

> Written for 'Pet Day' (11 April). 
> 
> To be honest, I wasn’t sure what to write today, but when I started typing, this is what spilled out of my head. There is mention of a dog in this chapter – but that’s kind of the only link it has to the holiday… 
> 
> Missing scene for season 4 episode '2010', immediately after Sam and Jack's stand-off at the cabin.

Sam storms around the side of the cabin, silently cursing her former commanding officer. But she’s angry. A part of her knows she has absolutely no right to feel anger towards the colonel – _Jack_ – or how he’s reacted to her plea for help, but the other part of her selfishly believed that he would listen and realize the danger Earth is in.

She spins on her heel to take one final look at the scene before her and she has to swallow hard at the lump that forms in her throat. The cabin is rustic in its charm and just screams Jack, as do the trees and long-forgotten paths that surround the dwelling. He always was more at peace when he was outdoors, despite his oft-heard complaints during their missions.

A sad smile graces Sam’s lips as she thinks back on the years they worked together, side by side. When things were simpler and yet more complicated. When they could have a conversation – with or without words – and knew each other better than they probably knew themselves. When they listened to what the other said. Trusted them without question.

She tries to force those thoughts aside because it’s too late for those regrets now, but as she steals one final glance at the cabin, she can’t help but wish she had accepted just one of Jack’s invitations to visit all those years ago. Now, in the cold light of day, she realizes the rules and regulations that she’d lived by for so long, are no longer important and she feels it somewhat ironic that she is only seeing the side of the colonel’s life she so desperately once wanted to be a part of when their world is getting ready to end.

Maybe it’s what she deserves though, because she knows that she doesn’t deserve to be happy. Not after the part she’s played in this entire sorry situation.

She really needs to get back to Daniel and Teal’c, but instead of signaling for the transporter she moves towards the front of the cabin and half-turns before she sits down heavily on the small bench on the porch, her gaze never staying on one spot for any length of time. She’s not sure how long she stays there in the end, but she jumps when someone sits beside her.

“Who all knows about this?”

Sam looks at him from the corner of her eye, but even though he’s staring straight-ahead, this close she can see his jaw clench and she can feel the tension radiating off him in waves, but the anger in his voice is gone. He sounds tired and it makes a little of her own anger dissipate.

“Only Daniel, Teal’c and Janet.”

“Do they know you’re here?”

“Yeah.”

“Let me guess,” he sighs. “They’re waiting back at Aschen HQ to hear whether I’ll help or not.”

She winces at his question, but nods.

“So,” he hesitates. “Is this another thing you haven’t had a chance to tell your ambassador?”

Sam’s gaze sharpens, but Jack steadily meets her eye.

“I can’t help but wonder why he doesn’t know.”

She thinks something of Daniel’s words from the previous night must slip into her expression, when a low whistle escapes the man sitting to her right. “Unless you don’t _want_ him to know,” he surmises, shifting slightly as he looks away and lets his elbows rest on his knees.

It isn’t an accusation, but it feels like one, and Sam finds herself suddenly trying to defend the reasons why she has yet to confide in her husband.

“I just think it’s better that the less people know, the better.”

“He’s your _husband_ , Carter. Can’t you trust him?”

The bitterness that leaks into his words has her pulling back slightly, but before Jack can apologize or she can tell him he’s out of line, she sighs.

“I wanted to tell him,” she admits quietly, her gaze falling to her hands that are now entwined on her lap.

“And yet… you haven’t.”

“No. Daniel –” She stops abruptly, not sure why she feels the need to tell him the rest, but she does anyway. “Daniel suggested I shouldn’t.”

“Why?”

“I – he –”

“Carter?”

She jumps to her feet and starts to pace back and forth. Even though she’s outside in the fresh air, she feels like she is suffocating, and it’s all just too much and –

_“Sam.”_

She freezes. It’s the first time she’s heard her name fall from his lips in ten years and the emotions it stirs within her is something she isn’t prepared for.

“Does Joe know what the Aschen have been doing?”

The softness that was in his voice moments earlier has vanished and is instead replaced with a dangerous edge. It pulls her back from the brink and she turns to look at him.

“I don’t know, sir – Jack,” she corrects. “I don’t think so, but –”

“Daniel thinks otherwise?”

“No, well, maybe. I just… we don’t know who we can trust,” she says. “And we can’t risk the Aschen finding out. This is the way it has to be.”

“If you aren’t sure who you can trust,” Jack answers as he gets to his feet and slowly makes his way towards Sam. “What are you doing here?”

“Because it’s you.”

The certainty with which she answers surprises them both, and she takes a few seconds to gather her thoughts.

“Despite everything that’s happened,” she says, wincing at the waver in her voice. “You are still the one person I trust with my life.”

A laugh completely void of humor escapes Jack and he takes another step closer, his voice lowering. “You’re about ten years too late with that sentiment, Carter.”

She feels like she’s been slapped in the face and she watches as the emotions she saw in the colonel’s eyes slowly disappear and are replaced with indifference.

“You want to trust me, Carter? Then you should have listened to me when we first met the Aschen.”

“We had no idea there would be consequences –”

“I’ve had ten years to live with the consequences,” he interrupts. “Consequences that you all brought on yourselves.”

“Jack –”

“No. Stop it,” he snaps. “You don’t get to come here and guilt me into trying to help fix your mistakes just because you don’t like the way things turned out. I don’t care for how some things ended either, but you don’t see me going around, begging for help.”

“I thought you said you liked things just the way they are.”

“I don’t miss saving the world,” he offers. “Or having my life being put in jeopardy every other day.”

“But you do miss other things?”

She sees him bite back a retort, thinking about what he wants to say against what he should say. He sighs heavily.

“You said earlier, that if we manage to go back and change _this_ ,” he pauses, gesturing vaguely around them, “the past ten years won’t happen.”

“They won’t.”

“So, if we don’t go to ‘970, there’s no Aschen and no treaty. Does that mean we – that things between us turn out differently?”

“I don’t know,” she admits quietly. “But I think it’s fair to say yes. Meeting the Aschen was the catalyst for this chain of events. If we don’t meet them, we don’t have our… disagreement.”

“It was more than a disagreement, Carter.”

“You were the one who walked away.”

“Because I didn’t have any other choice!”

His voice echoes loudly in their otherwise silent surroundings.

“In all the years we worked together, I never asked you for anything,” he growls. “But the _one_ time I implored you to listen to me – to _trust_ me – you didn’t want to know.”

She briefly closes her eyes in shame as she recalls the argument that led to him storming out of the SGC – and her life – and she feels the tell-tale sign of tears pricking her eyes.

“We screwed up, sir,” she finds herself whispering. “ _I_ screwed up.”

The confession costs her a little more of the fight within her and she feels herself sway on her feet. Without warning, Jack turns and moves towards the bench, gesturing for her to follow. It’s only when she sits beside him, that he starts talking again.

“Years ago, after Charlie…” He winces as he trails off, but he seems determined to say what’s on his mind, so Sam waits patiently. “I’d resigned myself to living out my life – my retirement – alone,” he says, as he plucks a long blade of grass from the ground and begins to twist it between his fingers. “And I was fine with that. The solitude, the quiet, no people to see or deal with… but then I met you.”

Sam’s gaze snaps to his face just in time to see a wry smile on his lips. “Suddenly, being alone didn’t hold the same appeal it once did. I know nothing ever happened – between us,” he continues. “But I always hoped that one day, we’d have the chance to be together. And maybe, just maybe, there’d be kids – and a dog. The whole package,” he mutters, so quietly Sam almost misses it.

But she doesn’t and she inhales sharply at his admission. She feels the tears start to build again but refuses to let them fall. She’s pretty sure he can hear her heart thumping in her chest, she doesn’t need to let him see her fall apart as well.

When Jack flicks his hand outwards, making her jump, she watches the blade of grass twist and fall to the ground, as if it’s foreshadowing what’s about to come.

“Then, when the treaty with the Aschen went ahead and you –”

She hears his voice falter and she instinctively reaches out to touch him, but his attention falls on her hand and he shakes his head once. She’s hurt by his unspoken command, but she complies and lets her hand fall back to her lap.

“You said the alliance with the Aschen was a big mistake.”

Sam nods at his words, and he turns to look at her, his gaze roaming over her face before he swallows. “My big mistake was letting you go.”

She doesn’t know what to say to that, so she closes her eyes against the vulnerability she sees in Jack’s eyes.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers as she lets her head fall back against the bench. Because she is sorry, she's sorry for everything she's put him through.

“How certain are you that your plan will work?” he asks after a while.

She cracks open an eye and looks at him curiously. “If we can manage to get a message through the gate, it’ll work.”

“But it’s getting to the gate that’s the problem?”

She nods and sits up. “The terminal where the Stargate is located is the last heavily defended place left on this planet.”

“So, you’re gonna need back up,” he says distractedly.

“Does this mean you’ll help us?”

She doesn’t quite manage to keep the hope out of her voice, but then he shakes his head and she feels her mood dampen again.

“No,” he says. “But I’ll think about it.”

“Thank you,” she whispers.

Sam holds his gaze and suddenly she feels like they’ve been transported to ten years in their past when they both faced each other across a Goa’uld forceshield. Even on that occasion they were so close and yet too far apart.

They sit in silence for a few more seconds before Sam stands. “I should go,” she says, gesturing vaguely over her shoulder. “Daniel and Teal’c –”

“Yeah, you don’t want to keep them waiting,” he nods.

“It was good to see you again, Jack.”

“You too, Sam.”

She gives him a half-smile as she turns to leave but then she stops and in two strides she’s standing before him. Without preamble, she leans down and presses her lips to his. The move startles Jack and without thinking, Sam uses the opportunity to run the tip of her tongue against his lips. He opens his mouth to her without hesitation and deepens the kiss, his hand reaching up to cup the side of her face.

The little voice in her head tells her that everything about this is wrong, but she doesn’t listen. She _can’t_ listen, because all she can think about is _how fucking right_ this feels. He surrounds her and the smell and taste and touch of him ignites a spark deep inside her chest that she realizes with painstaking clarity burnt out ten years ago. Joe has _never_ made her feel like this, and it makes her even more determined to see this plan through.

With every ounce of strength she has, she breaks the kiss, but leans her forehead against his as she tries to catch her breath.

“You really should go,” he says, his voice rough, and Sam nods.

She only makes it halfway down the path before he breaks the silence.

“Sam?”

She turns back to look at him and he gets to his feet, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans as he rocks back on his heels.

“Tell the guys I won’t help you.”

“Sir?” she frowns.

He pauses as he presses his lips together, seemingly deciding against what he was initially going to say. “If you really don’t know who you can trust, this is the way it has to be.”

She holds his gaze and finally she sees it. Everything he still wants to tell her but can’t, because he’s already slipping back into soldier mode, to the way things used to be. So, she nods slowly in understanding and walks away without another word.

She won’t tell her former teammates about this conversation, nor will she tell Joe that she paid her former CO a visit to ask him to help erase the life they’ve made together, but she doesn’t care. It’s better this way, because this isn’t the way things are supposed to be.

As she waits for the transporter to take her back to Daniel and Teal’c, Sam feels alive. She feels like she can breathe again for the first time in a long time, and it’s because deep down she knows Jack has already made up his mind.

They’ll all have their own roles to play in this final battle. They will fight for each other and to the death to save Earth, but Sam also knows that this is their only hope of giving _them_ another chance at a future together – and she’ll be damned if they screw it up again.


End file.
